Dear Future Hubby: Prayer letters to my future Husband.

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I pray that when you get this letter, you would have a full understanding of how goofy yet AWKWARD I really am.

Anywho! If you are reading the letter that means you my friend, have done the impossible. You have broken through my heart, and promised to never let it go. You have seen me at my worst and at my best. You have become annoyed with me on several occasions, and then have remembered how much you love me and why God put us together as the a hubby and wife team. Simply you’re all that.

If you’re reading this letter then you would have possibly seen me at my 265 pound body and loved every inch and curve, and have pushed me to get to a healthier weight of a 175 pounds. Your love for me at my struggle weight makes me love you more and more at my goal weight. Thank you babe for seeing past my struggle and walking with me towards my future health goals. If I haven’t lost the 90 pounds, then don’t give up on me yet. I am known to be a fighter and what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.

If you are reading this letter then you know my love for music, theater, movies with meaning, and my passion for the African American community. You are fully aware of my love for R&B, Jazz, Old Skool and Christian Hip Hop, Gospel and Classical music. You know that I love movies like The Great Debaters, Bend it Like Beckham and countless other movies and probably get annoyed at the fact that I can recite almost every line. You have grown to love my singing out loud in the car, making people laugh, and my impersonations of famous people and my late grandmother. You don’t think I am overreacting with my views, opinions, and actions on the disparities that are  crippling the African American and low income minority communities. Even if it’s not your passion, you support my vision plans and pushes me towards my completion goals.

If you are reading the letter you love me even with my battle with depression. You think I am strong even when I feel weak. You’re a leader and have encouraged me to know that I am worthy even when I feel worthless. You pray with me and for me, never taunting me, or getting frustrated when I feel non-pretty or like life is a blur. Instead, you kiss me softly and gently, reassuring me of my God given beauty, talents, and gifts. You’re patient and kind with me and I love it.

If you are reading this letter you know that I am an night owl. You know that I am not a neat freak and can be a little messy but the spirit of Martha Stewart comes alive in me with the right music while cleaning the house. You know that I can cook good ol soul food, or make yummy stir fry and you warn me about portions and starchy foods. You know that I love to over analyze everything and will kindly redirect me back to the road of making logical and sound choices. You will love me when I am having an ADD moment, and will help me grow in areas of forgetfulness and budgeting money.

If you are reading this letter you will know that I said yes to you because of your heart. You made up in your mind that I was special and beautiful, and someone you wanted to pursue. You have a heart for God and His people without restrictions, and you yearn to serve God in whatever ministry he sees fit for you. You are full of integrity and you make wise choices that will be spiritually good and healthy for our family. You are able to handle my family, even if they make you uncomfortable, you don’t judge them and manage to make them feel loved and appreciated. You accept my flaws and allow me to see yours so that we could grow together as husband and wife. You pray and read the Bible with me, creating a routine of discipleship and teaching to be transferred between the both of us. You support all of my dreams (even the crazy ones) and you’re my biggest cheerleader. You’re trustworthy and full of Godly wisdom. You protect my purity by honoring my body all the way to the marriage bed and beyond. You have all of the qualifications of being an amazing husband and father to our future children but most of all an amazing leader in Jesus Christ.

If you are reading this letter, know that faith and unconditional love brought us together. That God himself showed me that you were what I needed. That love will get us through the storms and attacks from the Enemy. You’re my partner in the battle against world and it’s standards. If you’re reading this, know that I love you through my awkwardness and my insecurities, and pain. If you’re reading this, know that my yes came with a heart willing to submit to you and to God for always until our eternal resting place.

With Unconditional Love,

Lakeyia B

 

 

 

 

 

Mother Who? Giving Mother Nature the Kanye Shrug.

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Who is “Mother Nature”?

To me, she is the woman who comes around every 28 days, and reminds me why chocolate was invented along with irritating cramps.

To some, she is the one who birthed the world and chooses to cause natural disasters whenever she fancies.

Algonquian legend believe that “beneath the clouds lives the Earth-Mother from whom is derived the Water of Life, who at her bosom feeds plants, animals and human”.

Truth is this: Mother Nature is mythical.

She is nether the creator of the universe nor does she derive the Water of Life.

The Bible clearly indicates who is the life giver. Check this out:

John 4: 14-15

but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” 

Revelation 22:17 

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.

My people, my people:

Don’t be decieved by the world’s dogma. Earth was not created by a woman. As much as I love my sistah’s and believe in the advancement of my fellow woman, I won’t sit back and let men be dragged through the mud by extreme feminist ideology. My thought on Mother Nature has me asking the question of who is the Father? Cleary there has to be masculinty somewhere. Even the woman at the well understood that Jesus is the true giver of life. We cannot start life without a man and woman coming together. This idea of a woman not needing a man to do “x, y, and z”, is foolery from the Devil.  Yes ladies, cherish and honor the blessing of being a woman but realize that we are still daughters of the true Creator, ABBA (Almighty Father). Yes we can learn how to fix a car, become doctors, lawyers, and yes we deserve equal paying wages (AMEN?), but don’t let the pride of being a woman create the illusion of us either becoming manly, or taking away God’s purpose of a woman.

Sorry Mother Nature, but you get a Kanye Shrug.

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It’s been real.

-Keyia

Kim Davis: The Law of the Land vs God’s Law

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If you have not heard, there is a woman who was thrown in prison for speaking out against gay rights and not issuing a marriage license to a same sex couple.

Kim Davis of Rowen County in Kentucky has been held in contentment this past week, for refusing to issue a marriage license to same sex couples. Davis argues that he refusal to approve same sex marriage license was her way of upholding God’s law. Davis, who is a Christian, stood her ground and was thrown in jail for what she believed in. But was her protest fair? Godly? and did her refusal to sign on a marriage license an act of imputable courage?

In June of 2015, the Supreme Court Justice of the United State ruled that people in same sex relationships have the same rights to marry as people in heterosexual relationships. What this plainly means is that Adam and Steve can be husband and husband in the eyes of our country. But what about God? Let’s see what he has to say about it.

Romans 1:26-27 (KJV)

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. 

Now there are about 4 or 5 more scriptures that speak out against homosexuality, however I always like to go for the new testament for folks who argue that the old testament is not valid or should not be taken literal. With this being said, my christian friends are probably nodding their heads in agreement (as they read) and are saying to themselves:

“Yasss Kee, you let em know hunty”

“We need more Kim Davis type people”

“She did the right thing, stand for God’s truth”

“Yassss Jesus Yasss”

Let me stop you real quick: I don’t fully agree with Kim Davis’s choices. Let me tell you why.

1st: I agree with God’s Word 100%. So let’s clear the air. In God’s eyes, marriage is between Hubby and Wifey. Like it or leave it. I ain’t scared of nobody but Jesus.

2nd: Though I agree with the Word, I don’t agree with Kim Davis and the way she handle the situation. My reasoning is because, Kim Davis could have let the same sex couple know that she stands with God’s law by speaking her heart, stepping aside, and letting some other clerk sign off. If she was the only person who could do it, then quit. That couple would have to wait until they replace her or go somewhere else.

Now some of my fellow saints may think I am crazy or wrong but hear me out. I want to share some scripture.

Mark 12: 14-17

“Teacher,” they said, “we know how honest you are. You are impartial and don’t play favorites. You teach the way of God truthfully. Now tell us—is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? Should we pay them, or shouldn’t we?”

Jesus saw through their hypocrisy and said, “Why are you trying to trap me? Show me a Roman coin,c and I’ll tell you.”When they handed it to him, he asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

“Well, then,” Jesus said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”His reply completely amazed them.

Now I know this is talking about taxes but hear a sistah out. Jesus told them to give what belongs to Caesar and God. I could be wrong, and you all can be sure to correct me, but this is where we separate church and state. Clearly taxes have to be paid rather I agree with the amount or with the government. Uncle Sams is not trying to hear me say it goes against my religion or I had to pay tithes and didn’t have enough to pay you. We either do it or face the penalty. This goes for other laws too. We who really follow Jesus, know what is at stake. Kim Davis knew in June what would happen to her today. I commend her for wanting to uphold God’s true Word but I don’t agree with her actions for it.

My future profession as a Marriage Family Therapist will allow me to have my own PRIVATE Practice. This mean that if I please to do so, I can turn away same sex couples. I can set my own price, hours, rules, etc. I have that freedom because it is my practice and dime at stake. Kim Davis works under the government and has the choice of either quitting, following the rules, or letting someone else sign on the dotted line. Either way, she made her choice and she is under the consequences. Simple as that. Lastly, I ask “What would you do?”

It’s been real.

Keyia

Tug of War

I remember when I was in grade school, I used to love playing “Tug of War”. I anticipated the day in gym class, when my teacher would announce that we were going to be on teams and test our strength. My group won tug of war almost every year. I would always end up towards the back of the line, and used all of my strength to pull the rope. I never once questioned my strength, I just pulled. A smile would light up my face as I saw the other team hit the ground, defeated.

Strength: the ability to resist being moved or broken by a force

“I never once questioned my ability to resist being moved or broken by a force”

Defeat: to cause (someone or something) to fail

“I saw the other team hit the ground, causing them to fail

Currently I need strength to finish my Bachelor’s degree. I will be finished with my Liberal Studies degree in September. I have been in college for 7 years. I have had to overcome DEFEAT and have had to rely on the STRENGTH on the Lord to get me to this point that I am at right now. I can be honest to say I feel weary. I struggle heavily in math and I constantly worry that I won’t make it over the finish line. College is not just important for me, but for my family as well. Neither of my parents have their college degrees. My victory is not only for me but for my family. It’s a lot of pressure.

God’s Word says:  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

I say with my mouth that I trust God with my life, but my actions shows differently. impatience grips me like a tight hug, making it hard for me to let God’s plans for my life blossom. Leaning to God’s understanding, means letting go what I think is right or “good” for my life at the moment. I rely on my own strength instead of relying on the strength of the ONE who died for me. Jesus. Without Jesus, I fail. I become defeated. My distrust becomes the thing that holds me back. My distrust creates a barrier between me and my Beloved.

Reality Check: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 

Through life’s”Tug of War”, God provides the tools of power, strength and discipline to overcome each obstacle thrown our way. He only requires us to trust in him, take up our cross, and to follow him. Trusting in God does not mean that we have to be fake with our feelings and our fears. God knows our thoughts and our every move. He who created the stars and the moon, knows when the going gets tough. He has put us on an amazing team to win each “tug of war” battle, against the Devil. Through our prayers, faith, and obedience. We become warriors on the playground of life each and every time.

God has given you the ability to resist the force of being broken and defeated. Never once question your strength. You help comes from the Lord.

Reality Check: but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 

So when you are feeling DEFEATED ( to fail), look back on the strength that God has provided you and trust that he can and will deliver you from all of life’s “Tug of Wars”.

Why I’m scared of marriage and how God is preparing my heart for my husband

So I am scared of getting married.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment of unconditional love. Lifelong does not stop when the finances get bad, when you are no longer “feeling” the person, when you both are busy, etc. The vows say for better or worse, through sick and health, rich or poor, life or death. Marriage is not giving up yourself, but it’s gaining yourself in the person God has created for you.

I want it my way:

One of the reasons I have my reservations about courting and marriage is because I am afraid that who God has for me won’t fit my perfect fairy tale. My ideal guy consist of someone handsome, Afrocentric, outspoken, creative, loves Christian rap, highly educated, love sports, has a manly voice, poetic, and strong. I don’t need to say that he “loves Jesus” because he will be attracted to the spirit of God living on the inside of me.

Now what if:

What if God has a different guy? What of my husband is passive, hates Christian rap, don’t have a poetic bone in his body, never even seen a basketball game ( I HIGHLY DOUBT THIS ONE), and (being honest) isn’t my idea of handsome? Do I cross him out of the picture?

The answer is no:
God knows who I need before I do. God knows I need a man who can lead our family to his son Jesus. He knows I need somebody to who will support me, provide for our family, pray with me, be my cheerleader, and love me unconditionally. Everything else is irrelevant.

What if I am not enough?

Let’s be 100% honest here. Every woman has her doubts about not being “everything” her future husband wants in a wife. We either feel insecure about our looks, or we are always comparing ourselves to other women. God’s true match for us will already find God’s beauty in us. Our personality is what truly make us sexy! Our compassion for God’s people, our loving and humble spirit, etc will be what makes our guy say “Girl you got it going on” (INSERT A GIGGLE OR TWO)

Reality Check ( aka Bible Verse):

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” (1 Peter 3:3, 4 NLT)

I still have issues:
Create in me a clean heart and renew my mind. I’m not a neat freak, in fact I’m kinda messy! Depending on what it is, I can be stubborn and selfish! I have trust issues, and can have anger issues as well. Im impatient and can sometimes hold a grudge. I’m working on these things but I can’t be somebody’s wife being all these mishaps, not without God’s help and guidance. It’s his strength that both I and my future spouse will need to rely on to understand, help, and accept our flaws and struggles. Where I am weak, Jesus is strong. Endurance is key.

Awkward:
I’ve never been on many dates nor been in too many real relationships to know what to expect. Do we hold hands? What to talk about? When things get serious do we kiss? How do I be vulnerable? I know these things sound weird and maybe crazy, but I’m not the only woman who think these things. After all courting leads to engagement and marriage so we must start somewhere!

God is in control:
I say all of the above to say this. I’m not perfect. None of us are and none of our spouses will be perfect. When God created us he made us fearfully and wonderfully! He knew who would be able to cherish us, love us even when we are crazy acting, and carry us. We don’t have to do anything but follow Christ so he can dance us into the arms of our prince. God is preparing my heart for love and when that time comes, all of the awkward, quirky, goofy things I do will not matter to my spouse because he was made to handle them! Ladies live for God and learn to lean on Him for a spouse. We are more than enough!

Thanks for reading!

The Wedding, The Bride, The Groom, and God’s unconditional love.

As I sat in the church pew and I saw the groom come in, I could only imagine the feeling of Joy that he have in his heart as he waited for his bride. The bridesmaids and groomsmen walked in as of they were floating and finally the doors were closed and we all knew it was time for the bride to make her entrance. As my dear friend stood at the alter and my dear friend floated down to her groom, my heart swelled and I could not help but smiling so hard that my cheeks started hurting. The wedding was beautiful. It was intimate, simple, and most of all centered around Jesus. I mean we even took communion. Then the reception was an awesome affair of finger foods, dancing, and sweet tea. I even danced with the bride and groom. The bride and groom… 

Something popped into my head today. God’s love for us is like a Man’s love for his wife. the wedding is the celebration and invitation in sharing the joy of salvation and the groom marrying his bride, the church. God does not require us to come perfectly to him, he will provide the white dress of pure and righteousness . Just think of the vows that a man and wife give to each other on their wedding day. To have and to hold, for rich or poor, sick or healthy, forsaken all others.The same way a man makes a covenant with his wife is the same one we make with Jesus. Just think of when Jesus when to that cross for us. He was sick, he was poor and I know in His human form he wished he had some one to hold and he had forsaken the deal the Devil tried to give to him and still went to the cross for a world that did and was going to hate and mock him. Do you understand we are his brides? He is our groom? What does that look like? 

I’ll tell you. 1 Corin 13. Jesus Love helps us endure all things. people kill over love yet Christ died to give life for love. Everything we do should be made in love. I like to think of the reception as a celebration in Heaven that is soon to come. Once our groom comes to steal us away from the trappings of this world, we will celebrate, dance, eat with and embrace our Savior, Hero, king. 

Quick note. Ladies wait on the Lord. Today taught  me to embrace the Husband of my spirit first then my earthly husband will come. I know its hard, its difficult, but God is able, he is truth, and he is just that amazing to bless you with your spirit-mate.  In the meantime, Ill dance at the spiritual reception, taking in spiritual food, and loving the lover of my soul. I urge you to do so too. God bless

Contentment in God

All around me is romance. Movies, shows, conversations from the other people, display of affection and intimacy. Sometimes I sigh and think of being single. It can feel like being on of those kids in 2nd grade without the Lisa Frank folders and pencils. Everyone has one it seems, except you. I didn’t get Lisa Frank stuff till third grade and after a few months of having it, I was bored or didn’t really pay any attention to it. Now I know being in a relationship is different, and you really can’t “not pay attention” to the guy/girl you are with but the rush is the same. In the beginning, everything is lovely! Late night talks on the phone, dates, hanging on their every word and then months past and the same rush is no longer there. Your favorite restaurant becomes boring or the norm, conversation gets dull, etc. 

We have become consumed in the emotions and feelings of romance that it can become stressful. We ask ourselves questions like “Why haven’t he/she called?” “Where are they?” “What are they doing?” and we become consumed with them. We end up losing a piece of ourselves.We end up not in contentment, especially singles because we crave that feeling of a touch and rush. 

I have a solution, as a matter of fact, God has the solution. Contentment in Him brings peace and joy in ways that any man or woman can bring. This is why God wants us to seek Him 1st and his Kingdom and Righteousness and all other THINGS will be added to you. That part “Things” being added means God needs to be able to know that you trust and want HIM with all your heart, not just when it’s convenient .

Think about it this way. You spend your time consuming your self for the love, approval, and honor of someone. They only consume themselves half the time with even thought of you. Who is lacking here? You or them? What happens when they only give you 10% of what you have been craving? You become depressed, sad, feeling unwanted, and unloved. You are left  not content. 

Now think about putting that same energy in loving and serving God. What are your results? How does God make you FEEL? Trust me, You will feel in peace, wanted, loved and content because you never had to fight for God’s love. It’s been there all along. 

So stay content in God. Fall madly in love with Him for the purpose that Christ went to the Cross for you. As you fall deeper in love with Christ, watch as he transform you. Then in His timing, He will send you the one that has been content in Him and praying and waiting just for you.